Category Archives: Single Life

Where to Meet Men and Women Besides the Bars

by Jackie Potts

My weekend excursions to the local golf courses have become a bit of a running joke among my friends. But hey, I’m crazy like a fox – a digit-collecting fox!

Sure, I like to smack a golfball and make a birdie as much as the next newbie golfer, but, ladies, that’s not all that keeps me going back. The secret? Golf courses are like a man buffet without a ladyfinger in sight.  Not only do the men outnumber the women, but most male golfers are polite, welcoming and literally bend over backwards to help a golfette with her clubs or just make small talk before the next hole.

These outings have resulted in lots of dates, friendships and just pleasant afternoons. Which got me thinking: When it comes to meeting members of the opposite sex, are you working the odds? Forget crowded bars and restaurants, here are under-utilized places to meet guys and girls and make new MeetMoi intros:

Places to Meet Men:

Golf Courses  — Ladies, think of the driving range alley like your own personal runway and Work It.

Cigar Shops – Choose your flavor of stogie – caramel, cherry, even Amaretto – and your flavor of homme.

Dog Parks – Man’s best friend is who? That’s right, Grumpus Maximus.

Rock Shows/Concerts – Hit the concession stands and concourses – a great way to meet new people.

Places to Meet Women:

Nail Salons – Guys, you’d be more irresistible than Brad Pitt dipped in chocolate if you got a pedicure on a Saturday morning.

Yoga Classes – A dude performing the Warrior II pose? Namaste!

Yogurt Shops  Invite your new yoga groupies to a yogurt shop after class. (There’s always one nearby.)

Farmer’s Markets – Sure, you might have to get up before 10 a.m., but think of the selection.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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5 Snappy Comebacks for Why You’re Still Single

by Jackie Potts

If you’re like us, you’re having so much fun meeting folks on MeetMoi that all those glassy-eyed twosomes hogging the coffee shops have receded into your subconscious. You know, the ones mooning over SodaStreams at Sur La Table, clogging brunch spots with their strollers, and telling you that you’ll meet the right person “any day now”….as if your life depended on it.

I’m talking about couples, of course. Poor dears, haven’t they heard? Married couples are actually becoming an endangered species, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The number of marrieds has dropped from 72% in 1960 to just 48% in 2010. And a CBS News poll found that 7 in 10 Americans said they think the institution of marriage is weaker now than 20 years ago. So when you’re being told that being single isn’t the “end of the world” (which you already knew), you could cite those handy statistics.

Or, the next time you’re ambushed over Bloody Marys and Belgian waffles at brunch with “Sooo, why are you still single?”, try one of these snappy comebacks:

5. I’m next in line for Bradley Cooper (or, if you’re a dude, Kim Kardashian).

4. Budget cuts. I had to let some people go.

3. I’ll tell you in the next life, when we are both cats. (Best when uttered in a Castilian Spanish accent like Penelope Cruz in “Vanilla Sky.”)

2. Because when the zombie apocalypse comes, a partner will just slow me down.

1. Or borrow a page from Dorothy Parker, writer and celebrated wit: “If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.”

Got a response that you like? Share it here.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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How to Be a Heartbreaker

By Ella Riley-Adams

Marina and the Diamonds’ latest album follows the exploits of “Electra Heart,” a made-up woman who represents a variety of female archetypes, says the musician. Among them, Marina mentions the house wife, teen idol, home wrecker, and, of course, the heartbreaker. Her video for “How to Be a Heartbreaker” won The Hairpin’s Best of the Best Music award for “Best Commitment to a Concept.”

When really, Electra will do anything but commit. “How to Be a Heartbreaker” outlines the rules for self-protection and overall domination in the face of romance. It speaks to the times when we all get tired of being open-minded and occasionally vulnerable; we turn in our soft sides for a more kickass, even villainous version of ourselves.

According to the lyrics, these are Marina’s rules. We have some suggestions for how you can play by them:

1. You gotta have fun. In the video, this is made evident by her gallivanting in a giant shower room, surrounded by a flock of nearly-naked male models. For you, that means submitting to your cravings on a daily basis. If you love cocktails, hit up happy hour after work today. If you feel giddy when you rock climb, skip work and fasten your belay. Heartbreakers are always looking out for number one, doubling their pleasure in life, and consequently attracting everyone around.

2. Don’t get attached to somebody you could lose. If you need advice on living fast and free constructively, we’ve got some. At the same time, we think half the fun of love is the exciting uncertainty of it all, and we’re fans of falling head over heels. But, if you’re looking to break some hearts and shield your own, you have to cut and run when anything gets too deep.

3. Wear your heart on your cheek, but never on your sleeve. Again, a heartbreaker banishes vulnerability. Marina’s signature heart on the cheek is instead a bold statement: See my heart, and know that only I own it. A visible heart doesn’t make it there for the taking; the heart on the cheek is a presentation of self without giving anything away. You speak your mind and talk about your feelings freely, but you guard your insecurities until you meet a trustworthy partner.

4. Gotta be looking pure (kiss him goodbye at the door and leave him wanting more). Let’s ignore the first bit, because we have know idea what “looking pure” entails today. A nun’s habit? A schoolgirl outfit? But we can get behind a savored flirtation. Don’t go back to his place on the first date. Tease him mercilessly on the second. On the third, be wilder than he ever expected. A slow reveal is often the sexiest, and the power’s in your hands.

We hear the glamour of heartbreak fades fast, but it’s fun to consider how, for one night or one year, you could be the girl in Marina’s video, strutting around in heels, choosing from an embarrassment of men, and being a (literally) cutthroat flirt. Go get ’em.

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Ways to Beat the Single Blues

By Ella Riley-Adams

The beginning of spring means peak single blues time: couples are reveling in their togetherness, restaurants use V-Day prix-fixes as their primary luring tactic, and cold hands are desperate for a warm companion in these frigid conditions. When you find yourself wanting, avoid the urge to hibernate. Instead, turn to one of these active options:

1. Throw a Party. Though Hannah’s latest shindig on Girls lead to multiple emotional breakdowns, she had the right idea with her pasta and bundt cake. If you’re feeling lonely, bring people together on your own terms. Invite five or six of your friends over and have them bring their friends, plus wine. You provide the hors d’oeuvres, the music, and scintillating questions. If you’re partying on your territory, you’ll feel comfortable and loved. Plus, you get to sleep in your own bed at the end of the night, whether it’s alone or with an unexpected friend-of-a-friend.

2. Dance Of course you’ve seen Robyn dominate her warehouse dancefloor in Call Your Girlfriend. Channel her power and strengthen your inner diva by making up your own choreography, either in front of your mirror or at a club. Check out our list of music videos celebrating the single life, and reclaim your evening. The world is your dance space.

3. Do Something New No, not someone new (though that can help too). Here, we’re thinking of escaping the comfort zone. A new experience will confirm your interest in life when you’re depressed, whether you’re lovelorn or generally in “meh” mode. Check out Groupon for deals on interesting adventures in your city, learn how to make a pretty latte, or finally begin your DJ career.

4. Go for a Run Ever seen a Nike commercial where the girl is running like a badass and you simultaneously want to have her as your best friend but also to be her? It looks like she’s flying, she feels great about herself, and her shoes are some bright attractive color–triple threat. Go for a run and you ARE that girl. No one will know if you’re only out for 15 minutes. That’s enough time to get an endorphin rush and relish the wind in your face.

5. Go Out This is a risky bet if you’re in a bachelor/ette funk. Sometimes going out at night can reinforce negative messages you’re sending yourself. But, if you consciously decide to control your night, you’re going to be able to savor the freedom you have as a single person. Hit on the bartender, flirt with a cute man from out of town, make eyes at your ex. Nothing is off limits.

6. Take Care of Yourself Turn on whatever music you can sing along to, be it Britney or Beyoncé. Then, carefully apply your questionably lumpy brown face mask, paint your nails gold, or shave your legs with utmost precision. Do whatever makes you feel calm and refreshed. Lurk on Lush‘s website for inspiration.

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Dating Double Standards: Singlehood

by Sabrina Cohen

In this exploratory MeetMoi post, we dig deep into the heart of our belief system to challenge common dating conventions we’ve come to accept as normal. Through years of subtle conditioning, these so-called standards weave their way into our social fiber without a conscious decision on our part. And when it comes to crossing gender lines, many are unfairly judged through dramatically differently lenses. Check out the example below.

A CELEBRITY COMPARISON ON SINGLEHOOD

THE FACTS: George Clooney has notoriously “played the field” for years, moving from one gorgeous woman to the next. Jennifer Aniston, until recently engaged, similarly spent several years dating various high-profile men.

THE PERCEPTION: George continues to be celebrated as Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, while Jen was painted as a woman who couldn’t manage to pin a man down. He’s hailed for his stealth choice to remain single while she’s portrayed as sad, lonely, and heartbroken. The overall interpretation is that George is “un-gettable” while Jen is “unsuitable.”

It’s clearly an unfair double standard, but that hasn’t stopped millions from getting on the judgmental bandwagon. Even when we disagree, we blindly accept that things just are a certain way. So how do we reverse the brainwashing?

  1. Know it can be reversed.
  2. Be aware and open-minded.
  3. Question old ideas, entertain new ones, and accept only what you truly believe.
  4. Own the ideas you support, even if they’re unfamiliar or unpopular.

Can you envision a day when single women are celebrated as hard-to-get sex bombs instead of spinsters?

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What if you want to stay single?

By Ella Riley-Adams

You like dating and meeting new people, but you’re not stoked to get serious with anyone at the moment. How do you get what you want without leading anyone on or crushing hearts under your flighty feet?

Once upon a time (in a high school or college far far away), players ruled the game. But now that we’re adults, a player also has to stand in as referee, water boy, and coach. Relationships, even the brief ones, require responsibility. Men and women who never learn to navigate the dating field with finesse are left on the sidelines. So if you want to steer clear of the cold, cold bench, follow these rules:

Initiate the conversation If you have a couple dates and are excited about the connection, put your cards on the table. “Hey, I want to let you know that I’m really enjoying the time I get to spend with you. And, I got out of a pretty shitty relationship a couple months ago–I’m not looking for another girlfriend/boyfriend.” Explain what you do want: “If you’re open to it, I’d love to keep going to dinner every couple weeks or so.”

If feelings evolve, then they evolve. You two can always readjust your expectations as you go. But making your status clear from the beginning will ensure that you can keep things casual and still have fun, respectful interactions.

Draw clear boundaries What does a sexual non-relationship look like to you? You don’t have to get into the specificities with your partner, but at least know for yourself. When you’re crying because your childhood cat died, can you call the person you’re casually dating? Will you buy each other birthday presents? Do you talk about work? Should you make sure you’re also hooking up with other people?

If you notice that you’re consistently crossing the boundaries you set, it may be time to reconsider your non-relationship status by either breaking things off completely or starting a full-on commitment.

Remind your partner where you’re at You go over to your date’s house after drinks; she starts crying because she’s afraid she’s going to fall for you. Despite its appearance, this is not a run-for-the-door moment. Be kind, be gentle, be honest. Tell her what you appreciate about her, but remind her you’re not going to get into anything intense. Reiterate your boundaries.

If your partner realizes that, for them, your situation is a recipe for heartbreak, he or she needs to find someone else who will cater to their current needs. You, on the other hand, keep flying free!

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Do You Have a 30-Day Rule?

by Jackie Potts

1 date, 3 dates, 30 days, marriage? Do you have a standard amount of time you wait before hugging without jammies? Or do you believe arbitrary rules like these ruin the flow of a new thang?

We talked to a handsome, single guy in his 20s who says he used to hook up casually whenever he felt that special attraction. But not anymore.

Now he says he purposely waits a minimum of 30 days before engaging in the no-pants dance. Gianni, 26, says it’s a do-no-harm dating policy he’s developed to spare himself, but also women, unnecessary pain and drama.

“Men mistake physical attraction for mental compatibility,” he explains.

Go onnnnn, we said, not at all creepily.

“You see, I’ll talk on the phone with a girl for hours if I’m attracted to her,” he continues. That’s because before intimacy, he says he’d meet someone and find everything about her magical and compatible. She was an actuarian? No way! He’d always wanted to do that too! A wheelchair thief? Sweet! A petty crime rapsheet is so bra, bra.

But too many times, he says, once intimacy happened — Poof! The attraction disappeared, and suddenly stealing wheelchairs seemed kind of lame. And then although his attraction was gone – hers, perhaps sparked by the release of the “cuddle hormone” oxtyocin, had doubled or tripled.

As a result, his partner now expected a relationship, while he was ready to hit the bricks. He’d stop calling; she’d get upset.

“They always thought there was something wrong with them,” he says. “But there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s me.”

By giving them both time to wait out the hormones, the 30-Day Rule took care of these painful misunderstandings. So tell us, is there an intimacy rule that works for you?

Jackie Potts is a blogger for Marketsmiths.com.

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