by Sabrina Cohen
Last month I wrote about platonic friendship between men and women. I grew up around guys whose philosophy was, “A guy only wants to be friends with a girl to get in her pants.” Even with that notion floating around in my consciousness, I managed to maintain lots of platonic friendships with guys throughout my 20’s.
But as time went on, the dynamics changed. In some cases, the friend got into a serious relationship and I inadvertently became the other woman, even though nothing sexual ever took place. Suddenly the idea of another woman sharing up-close-and-personal time perhaps seemed inappropriate. Thankfully it usually resulted in a natural drifting as opposed to anything dramatic or specifically addressed, at least to my knowledge.
I’ve also seen plenty of women cut off relationships with guy friends because her significant other was jealous or threatened. Was it because they believe that any other man is really interested in more than friendship?
In other cases there was no significant other, just unforeseen (ok, undisclosed) feelings that appeared to motivate one person to engage in the friendship. In my case, even though my intentions were clear, I was guilty of denying his ulterior motives.
With all that said, I do maintain friendships with these men. They’ve morphed significantly over the years, but considering they’re still there, anything is possible.
In your experience, can men and women really just be friends? How about when one is in a relationship?
Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.