Monthly Archives: September 2012

Stop! Read This Before You Send That Sexy Text

By Jackie Potts

Let’s say your MeetMoi Intro is going swimmingly. The chemistry’s electric and the night’s a delicious blur. In fact, even though you’ve only met once, the next day you feel compelled to share … more. So you take a deep breath and type a sexy text  …  that accidentally goes to your boss, your ex or, hold onto your iPhones, your MOM.

You’ve just been burned by the sexting gods. So before you dip your toe into the murky waters of dirty texting (photos or sexually explicit messages), consider these consequences: Text  messages can’t be recalled and plenty of things can go awry, from mis-sent texts to sexual harassment charges to torpedoed Congressional careers (remember Anthony Weiner?).

Most women have stories of receiving explicit texts or photos from overeager Barneys, which they immediately deleted. But we learned while reporting this post that guys can be just as easily offended.

Mike, 28, recalls a lady friend who came on way too strong: “After turning down her texts, one day she texted asking if I wanted to have a 3-way with her and another guy… That’s definitely the way to my heart … LOL.”

At MeetMoi, we don’t condone sending any texts that are abusive, harassing, vulgar, obscene, or invasive of another’s privacy. (What you do on your own time is your own risky business.) However, before you send that sexy text or photo, ask yourself these questions:

  • How well do I really know this person?
  • Are they conservative or do they have religious values that could be offended by flirty texts?
  • Do they share their phone with anyone else – a family member, co-worker, or friend?
  • Are their phones easily visible in their work place? Do they take their phones to client or office meetings?
  • Are their phones unlocked so that anyone can see their photos or instant messages?
  • Would I be embarrassed if this text were to be made public to friends, coworkers or family members?

Do you have a naughty text story that went wrong? Share it with us here!

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Filed under Chat Tips, Date Etiquette

Get Out: 5 Ways to Keep Summer Alive on Your Next Date in NYC

By Ella Riley-Adams

In France, back-to-school time applies to everyone. It’s called “rentrée,” which basically means “the return.” When September rolls around, everyone has to deal with the shock of the cold, the ramped-up work routine, and the melancholy of summer past. This transition is marked partially because the French are avid vacation-takers, but also because they understand that the changing of the seasons matters for everyone, not just students.

Soften the blow of fall by bringing some summer to your next MeetMoi rendez-vous. We’ve got ideas for NYC locations and activities that will make the inevitable move towards winter a bit warmer. Many happy returns!

Sip Iced Coffee at Blue Bottle Coffee. Invite your MeetMoi Intro to this Williamsburg café. They roast their own beans in the background and one wall hosts a pair of bulbous drip-coffee devices. It’s bright and clean, a perfect fall mood-lifting atmosphere in addition to the caffeine. All iced coffee is brewed cold so the flavors are crisp. If you’re ready to make the move to hot drinks, however, go for a free public cupping on Thursdays at noon. Lunch date!

Experience the Lowline. A subterranean counterpart to the enormously successful highline, the Lowline will turn an old LES underground tramway into a public park.  Complete with sunlight-channeling “remote skylights” and real plants, this space will give New Yorkers a taste of summer strolling even when the ground above is covered in frost. This month, the innovators behind the idea have opened an exhibit to help raise interest in their project. Go see “Imagining the Lowline” to get a first glimpse of the project.

Swim Good. Channel Frank Ocean and drop by the Grace Hotel to get some time in the drink. For $10.00, you get access to the heated pool and spa. The pool boasts a swim-up bar and if your date forgets her swimsuit, you can buy one at the front desk. Spend the evening practicing your backstroke, drinking mojitos, and recounting the last time you were at the beach.

Go Camping. No, we don’t expect you to own a sleeping bag or a backpack. Instead of freezing and eating baked beans in some mountain cave, make the trek to Camp, a quaint Carroll Gardens bar. Break the first-date ice by ordering s’mores and roasting the marshmallows over a board game. It’s rural summer life including deer heads and panoramic landscape, but sans mosquitoes and sweat.

Eat Ice Cream. While chilly weather makes popsicles and ice cream cones less appealing, you can still enjoy summer’s best cold treat—just indoors, and with espresso. Try Van Leeuwen’s affogato, made with Intelligentsia coffee and the artisan ice cream maker’s creamy confection. Their menu suggests they only serve it with vanilla, but we’re pretty sure that if you ask nicely, they’ll make you one with Earl Grey or Cinnamon.

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Filed under Impromptu Date Ideas, Meeting Up, New York

Why You Need a WingWoman

By  Jackie Potts

Ladies, there’s nothing more essential for a successful MeetMoi  meetup than a killer wingwoman.  She carries gum and ibuprofen, can spot a creepy married man at 20 paces and never lets you leave the restroom with TP on your heels.  With her help, when you meet that cute guy who likes dub-step and Tim Tebow just as much as you, your mutual posses mesh beautifully.

Our mobile dating service now offers a feature called Wingman that introduces you and your favorite wingwomen to other nearby groups so you can chat with other MeetMoi members together. But choosing the right gal pal is critical.  She should have your back and know that rubbing her lady parts suggestively on the arm of the guy you’re talking to is a clear violation of the friendship rules.

Here are 5 traits of the perfect wingwoman:

  1. She’s not mouthy. Your fun pal who tells guys at the sports bar that only “punks wear Yankee caps” – yep, leave her home.
  2. She’s not a spotlight hog. An ideal wingwoman is secure in her personality and appearance. She plays well with others and can entertain herself if you head off to the dancefloor. She doesn’t fake a nip slip or yell, “Anyone wanna see me fit 20 maraschino cherries in my mouth?” if she feels neglected.
  3.  She can moderate her alcohol intake. Your wingwoman needs to have a clear head for the job. She shouldn’t guzzle martinis like a depressed drag queen or vomit in your purse. Eww.
  4. She’s doesn’t indulge in sulky backhanded compliments. People who feel inadequate try to “level” others with comments like, “I wish I could wear tops like yours and not look like a hooker,” Or “Your new hairpieces are amazing! I’d never guess you got them at the 99 cent store.”
  5. She thinks fast on her feet. A wingwoman senses when the party’s ending or you need a quick exit, and smoothly invents an excuse to leave.

Do your party pals pass this BFF test? If not, think broader – your perfect wingwoman might be a wingMAN.

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What to Do When You Don’t Want to Go on Date #2

By Natasha Burton

Let’s say you go on a first date with an Intro and you’re thinking you could potentially see the person again. Then, a couple days later, you realize … well, not so much. Here’s what to do when an Intro wants to go out with you again and you’re just not that interested.

Assess why you don’t want to go on a second date

After the first meet-up excitement fades, your interest in seeing an Intro again might fade, too. But before you put the kibosh on date number two, really think about why you’re ready to do so. If you’re worried that you didn’t have enough chemistry with the person during date number one, that might not be a great reason to totally write off getting to know him or her better first. If there’s another person you’re interested in pursing a relationship with, then that might be a good reason not to want to lead someone on. And, certainly, if the date was just downright terrible, by all means, don’t subject yourself for more torture. Just, you know, think about it before giving an Intro the ax. There’s no going back once you do.

Craft a short, kind response

When your Intro messages you asking to see you again, and you’ve decided that you’re just not game for meeting up a second time, don’t leave him or her hanging because you’re not sure how to let the person down gently. Respond swiftly and respond simply with something like, “It was really nice to meet you but I’m not interested in meeting up again.” Okay, yes, this sounds kind of harsh, right? But you have to avoid tacking on phrases like “right now” that suggest you may want to meet up again someday if you really don’t intend to ever see the person again. Little hints of hope might make you feel better as the rejector but they’ll only make your intro feel worse when those blow softeners just prove to be false.

Move on

Your Intro might message back looking for answers: What he or she did “wrong” or an explanation as to why you don’t want to give him or her another chance. In most cases, it’s best not to respond. What can you really say to make this person feel better? Nothing. In the end, you don’t want to see him or her again. So, rather than trying to feebly explain — which could end up backfiring on you if the person tries to guilt you into another date —  it’s better to stay silent. As hard as that might be.

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#NYFW: Your Next Date Outfit Will Be Runway-Inspired

By Ella Riley-Adams

Every September, New York is a twitter with the autumn preening ritual of the sartorial world. During Fashion Week, editors, journalists, celebrities and socialites flock to see designers showcase their wares on the runway then bask in the afterglow at champagne-fueled fêtes.

It’s a glamorous time, and if you keep up with fashion blogs and magazines, you’ve no doubt been hit by inevitable pangs of fashion week envy.  Alas, we can’t all sit next to Ryan Lochte front row at Rebecca Minkoff, but everyone can look stunning on their next MeetMoi dinner date. Study the latest runway trends (and after-party moments) to plan an outfit that’s fashion week fresh. We’ve got a few designers—and their budget-friendly counterparts–to make your stylish daydreams reality. 

Marc by Marc Jacobs This collection was all about mixed patterns, fun colors, and layered pieces. The women wore checkered scarves on their heads, necks, and around their waists. For men, one button down could never be enough. These pieces evoked a festive picnic in a field, crayon-colored bunting strung around the trees.

Bring spring to winter 2012 by following Jacobs’ layering example. On bottom: tights, socks, and heels. On top: dress, sweater, cardigan, coat, and scarf. We like Irish designer Electronic Sheep’s loud pattern. If you’re going for coffee instead of dinner, layer your scarf over Elizabeth and James’ almost-tunic Damien shirt. You’ll be altogether warm and stylish. Plus, taking off outer layers is a fun, innocent flirtation; perfect for a first encounter.

Rodarte Structured pieces and rich jewel tones were the overarching themes in the designer’s spring collection. And we even got some fringe! We’re especially fond of Rodarte’s trapezoidal tops, both long and short-sleeved.

Have you been invited to a whiskey library or questionable punk show? Then you know it’s time to get geometric and jewel-y in a Rodarte-inspired outfit. Try Rebecca Minkoff skinny studded pants with H&M’s emerald Merino Wool landscape sweater. If you anticipate jumping up and down at said questionable concert, go for a black oxford or ankle boot. Otherwise, dress up the sweater with heeled booties or violet pumps. Knot your hair into a low bun for the slicked-back Rodarte effect.

Alice + Olivia’s Spring 2013 collection is thoroughly flirty, feminine, and unabashedly retro. A lacy baby blue dress with delicate capped sleeves one-ups this summer’s lace shorts trend, while a simple, glittery nude dress makes us wish for warmer days.

Make Stacey Bendet proud by proposing tea with your next MeetMoi match. Wear a pearl-embroidered pencil skirt from Zara, Mary Jane heels (put on bobby socks if you’re afraid of cold feet) and a “gallery green” silk blouse. If you’re looking for another layer and wanting to treat yourself, try a grey basketweave print (hey! Alice + Olivia!) button-down.

Jason Wu after-party To celebrate his show, Jason Wu hosted a gathering at The Double Seven, a typically chic Meatpacking cocktail lounge. Many guests were clad in simple knits and fur, bracing against incoming autumn. Stylist Kate Young wore black leather pants, reflecting Wu’s runway material of choice.

To achieve the insouciance of a socialite, mix materials within a somber color palette (Wu stuck mostly to black and white at his show). Try a black leather pencil skirt paired with Anthropologie’s textured pullover in ivory. Add dark green heels and a chunky tan scarf and you’re ready to sip a Thresher at the dark Double Seven bar (or, for that matter, any stylish NYC locale of your choice).

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How to Talk to Guys: 5 Opening Lines for Women

By Jackie Potts

Ladies, ever spot a cute guy but been paralyzed as to how to start a conversation? It used to be fine to play coy and wait for him to approach, but this is 2012, the year of Lady GaGa and Carly Rae Jepsen (Dude, call her already, won’t you?)!

It’s time for you to make the first move, but, never fear, MeetMoi is here to be your wingwoman.  After all, that guy you’re crushing on at the bar may be intimidated because (a) you’re surrounded by a loud group of girls, (b) he just scarfed down a burger piled with onions and doesn’t have a breath mint, or (d) he doesn’t know what to say.  So, if you’ve ever been rendered speechless by a set of dimples, try one of these no-fail opening lines (several also work via MeetMoi message, too):

  1. Hi, You look like my next ex boyfriend. Humor is a great ice-breaker and this little bon mot is sure to get his attention either via MeetMoi message or in person. Plus, if he doesn’t get the joke, then you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re smarter than he (er, him).
  2.  I just fell off the wagon. Will you be my sponsor?  Believe us, we have nothing but the greatest respect for those who’ve ditched Mr. Al K. Hall. That’s why the beauty of this dandy is that it works either in a bar setting or at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
  3.  Didn’t I see you at [nearby trendy restaurant or bar]? This is innocent, totally unverifiable, and not 100% stalker-ish at all.
  4. Did you hear [Incubus, Tool or U2] are breaking up? Oh, if I had a Louis Vuitton Speedy for every time a guy asked me to a Tool concert! It’s irrelevant whether this info is true or not. What does matter is that these are bands guys like (you can adjust your band choice by geographical region or genre), and if they’re into music, it will definitely spark their interest. If they genuinely don’t care, then ask, “What kind of music do you like?” to keep the ball rolling.
  5. Which do you like better – the new Camaro or the old Camaro? A reliable guy friend assures me that this is an idiot-proof way to talk to guys because they always have opinions about cars. If he’s the earth-conscious-type, you could always switch to the “new Prius or the old Prius”?

Bonus line:

I don’t bite. – Saunter over and murmur this to the cute but shy guy who keeps staring at you from across the bar.

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Filed under Chat Tips, Dating Tips, Meeting Up

5 Forgivable First-Date Sins

By Natasha Burton

When you meet up with an Intro, presumably you want to put your best foot forward, as does the person you’re meeting up with. However, sometimes life has other plans — and these mishaps can often be confused for red flags. Here are some supposed first date dealbreakers that could actually be forgivable, depending on the circumstances.

Your Intro is Late

When you’re meeting someone on a fly, you have little time to figure out where the place you’re meeting actually is and the best way to get there. If your Intro is late for your first meet-up, don’t automatically assume he or she is a flake. Bus schedules aren’t always reliable, traffic can be unpredictable and GPS doesn’t always know where that little tucked-away cafe is actually located. If lateness becomes a habit, well, that’s another story.

Your Intro Arrives Disheveled 

Since meet-ups can happen at a moment’s notice, you just never know when an Intro might want to grab a cup of coffee or a drink. While on a typical, planned-for-days date, you should expect the person to be all spruced up, not so on a meet-up. Which is actually a good thing: There’s less pressure on you to be perfectly polished and you get to see your intro in his or her no-frills natural element — how he or she will typically look for the majority of your potential relationship.

Your Intro Texts During the Meet-Up

Okay, now checking your phone during a date is totally rude. But, given the aforementioned impromptu nature of meet-ups, you do have to understand that your date may have some unfinished work business or family issue that he or she wasn’t able to resolve earlier in the day. What makes taking a text, or even a call, during your date excusable is how your Intro handles the interruption: If he explains why he must take the focus off the meet-up and is quick to take care of his business, then you can give him the benefit of the doubt . (But if he’s simply texting at will throughout the date? Heck no!)

Your Intro Goes to Use the Bathroom … And Leaves You Hanging for Over 20 Minutes

If this happens, don’t automatically assume that your intro is calling his or her best buddy to dish about how the meet-up is going or that he or she is stalling for an equally uncourteous reason. Look, when nature calls, we all have to answer. So, be patient while you wait instead of jumping to some outlandish conclusion that he or she was being “rude” by leaving you hanging.

Your Intro’s Credit Card Gets Declined

A friend of mine went on a first date with a guy at a very expensive restaurant that he insisted on taking her to, only to find out that the place only took cash, of which he had none. When he tried to use the ATM down the street to get money, he discovered that his debit card had expired, leaving my friend to foot their large bill. In that case, the guy should have had more forethought, not only about the restaurant’s requirements but his own financial situation. But if your Intro tries to pay for her martini, only to find out her card’s been frozen because she just got back from Europe and her bank thinks something’s fishy, I think you can let her slide.

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Filed under Date Etiquette, Dating Tips