Monthly Archives: March 2013

Where to Meet Men and Women Besides the Bars

by Jackie Potts

My weekend excursions to the local golf courses have become a bit of a running joke among my friends. But hey, I’m crazy like a fox – a digit-collecting fox!

Sure, I like to smack a golfball and make a birdie as much as the next newbie golfer, but, ladies, that’s not all that keeps me going back. The secret? Golf courses are like a man buffet without a ladyfinger in sight.  Not only do the men outnumber the women, but most male golfers are polite, welcoming and literally bend over backwards to help a golfette with her clubs or just make small talk before the next hole.

These outings have resulted in lots of dates, friendships and just pleasant afternoons. Which got me thinking: When it comes to meeting members of the opposite sex, are you working the odds? Forget crowded bars and restaurants, here are under-utilized places to meet guys and girls and make new MeetMoi intros:

Places to Meet Men:

Golf Courses  — Ladies, think of the driving range alley like your own personal runway and Work It.

Cigar Shops – Choose your flavor of stogie – caramel, cherry, even Amaretto – and your flavor of homme.

Dog Parks – Man’s best friend is who? That’s right, Grumpus Maximus.

Rock Shows/Concerts – Hit the concession stands and concourses – a great way to meet new people.

Places to Meet Women:

Nail Salons – Guys, you’d be more irresistible than Brad Pitt dipped in chocolate if you got a pedicure on a Saturday morning.

Yoga Classes – A dude performing the Warrior II pose? Namaste!

Yogurt Shops  Invite your new yoga groupies to a yogurt shop after class. (There’s always one nearby.)

Farmer’s Markets – Sure, you might have to get up before 10 a.m., but think of the selection.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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Filed under Dating Tips, Meeting Up, Single Life

The Measures Of Monogamy

by Sabrina Cohen

Monogamy. Some believe it’s when both partners say, “I love you.” Others believe it’s triggered after a certain number of dates, or certain period of time. Some think it’s when you’ve had sex, while others believe it’s not until you’re “officially” down the aisle. There are some who will never get on the monogamy bandwagon.

With so many varying notions on when and how the line of monogamy is crossed, it’s no wonder that expectations get thwarted—and hearts dismayed or broken. There is, however, a simple solution to this otherwise complicated problem. Communication.

Let’s see how this works in action:

So, we’ve been dating for X weeks, and I really like how it’s going. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else, and I need to know if we’re on the same page. –Jane, dater

I don’t want to rush things, but I’m not into sleeping with someone who’s sleeping with other people. –Jason, dater

If you’re upfront and clear about your expectations, you can learn whether it’s really meant to be. Communication also creates the space to compromise…maybe your partner isn’t ready for monogamy, but communicates something that allows you to (willingly) adjust your expectations.

As long as things are out in the open, you can earn trust, liberate your own preferences, and ensure a smoother overall ride.

What’s your measure of monogamy? Tells us what works for you!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

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5 Snappy Comebacks for Why You’re Still Single

by Jackie Potts

If you’re like us, you’re having so much fun meeting folks on MeetMoi that all those glassy-eyed twosomes hogging the coffee shops have receded into your subconscious. You know, the ones mooning over SodaStreams at Sur La Table, clogging brunch spots with their strollers, and telling you that you’ll meet the right person “any day now”….as if your life depended on it.

I’m talking about couples, of course. Poor dears, haven’t they heard? Married couples are actually becoming an endangered species, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The number of marrieds has dropped from 72% in 1960 to just 48% in 2010. And a CBS News poll found that 7 in 10 Americans said they think the institution of marriage is weaker now than 20 years ago. So when you’re being told that being single isn’t the “end of the world” (which you already knew), you could cite those handy statistics.

Or, the next time you’re ambushed over Bloody Marys and Belgian waffles at brunch with “Sooo, why are you still single?”, try one of these snappy comebacks:

5. I’m next in line for Bradley Cooper (or, if you’re a dude, Kim Kardashian).

4. Budget cuts. I had to let some people go.

3. I’ll tell you in the next life, when we are both cats. (Best when uttered in a Castilian Spanish accent like Penelope Cruz in “Vanilla Sky.”)

2. Because when the zombie apocalypse comes, a partner will just slow me down.

1. Or borrow a page from Dorothy Parker, writer and celebrated wit: “If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.”

Got a response that you like? Share it here.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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How to Be a Heartbreaker

By Ella Riley-Adams

Marina and the Diamonds’ latest album follows the exploits of “Electra Heart,” a made-up woman who represents a variety of female archetypes, says the musician. Among them, Marina mentions the house wife, teen idol, home wrecker, and, of course, the heartbreaker. Her video for “How to Be a Heartbreaker” won The Hairpin’s Best of the Best Music award for “Best Commitment to a Concept.”

When really, Electra will do anything but commit. “How to Be a Heartbreaker” outlines the rules for self-protection and overall domination in the face of romance. It speaks to the times when we all get tired of being open-minded and occasionally vulnerable; we turn in our soft sides for a more kickass, even villainous version of ourselves.

According to the lyrics, these are Marina’s rules. We have some suggestions for how you can play by them:

1. You gotta have fun. In the video, this is made evident by her gallivanting in a giant shower room, surrounded by a flock of nearly-naked male models. For you, that means submitting to your cravings on a daily basis. If you love cocktails, hit up happy hour after work today. If you feel giddy when you rock climb, skip work and fasten your belay. Heartbreakers are always looking out for number one, doubling their pleasure in life, and consequently attracting everyone around.

2. Don’t get attached to somebody you could lose. If you need advice on living fast and free constructively, we’ve got some. At the same time, we think half the fun of love is the exciting uncertainty of it all, and we’re fans of falling head over heels. But, if you’re looking to break some hearts and shield your own, you have to cut and run when anything gets too deep.

3. Wear your heart on your cheek, but never on your sleeve. Again, a heartbreaker banishes vulnerability. Marina’s signature heart on the cheek is instead a bold statement: See my heart, and know that only I own it. A visible heart doesn’t make it there for the taking; the heart on the cheek is a presentation of self without giving anything away. You speak your mind and talk about your feelings freely, but you guard your insecurities until you meet a trustworthy partner.

4. Gotta be looking pure (kiss him goodbye at the door and leave him wanting more). Let’s ignore the first bit, because we have know idea what “looking pure” entails today. A nun’s habit? A schoolgirl outfit? But we can get behind a savored flirtation. Don’t go back to his place on the first date. Tease him mercilessly on the second. On the third, be wilder than he ever expected. A slow reveal is often the sexiest, and the power’s in your hands.

We hear the glamour of heartbreak fades fast, but it’s fun to consider how, for one night or one year, you could be the girl in Marina’s video, strutting around in heels, choosing from an embarrassment of men, and being a (literally) cutthroat flirt. Go get ’em.

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What You Could Learn About Dating from Marilyn Monroe

By Jackie Potts

“A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left,” – Marilyn Monroe.

Pop culture is having another Marilyn moment, when movies, magazines and TV can’t seem to get enough of the dearly departed bombshell. But aside from her parted ruby lips and vava-voom figure, what enthralls us so?

In the TV series “Smash,” about the making of a fictional musical of the sex symbol’s life, the writers dish about Marilyn’s supposed innocence and vulnerability. It makes us wonder, how much of the mystique was “real”?

Turns out Marilyn was savvier than she looked. “The truth is I’ve never fooled anyone…I’ve let men sometimes fool themselves,” she admitted. Rowrrr! Here’s how single gals can benefit from her feline swagger too:

Be mysterious.  Don’t share all your secrets on the first or second date. In the “Prince and the Showgirl,” a randy royal tries to seduce her, but Marilyn is the perfect coquette – always keeping him at arm’s length and never revealing too many details about herself.

Have a sundae… or two. Marilyn was no Kate Moss, existing on cigarettes and coffee. She was a red-meat-eating carnivore, who ate steak and lamb chops — and adored hot fudge sundaes.

Embrace your curves. If you can’t, try Spanx. Perhaps because of those sundaes, she was also a voluptuous WHOA-man. And those curves spelled danger for many – a movie costumer. To contain them, Marilyn wore supportive undergarments – Spanx, to you and me.

Keep your sweetheart neckline in check. “The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn’t any,” quipped Marilyn. As a master (mistress?) of the flattering neckline, she also knew that, “uhm, your boobs go inside your shirt.”

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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Start Spring Early with Fresh Dates in NYC

By Ella Riley-Adams

The first stanza of an e e cummings poem encapsulates the feeling of the season perfectly: “sweet spring is your/time is my time is our/time for springtime is lovetime/and viva sweet love”. March means we can start crawling out from under the hibernation covers, hoping for warmer weather and carefree days. Though New York will probably still experience a few more winter storms and quite a bit of rain, we say it’s not too early to start celebrating sweet springtime. Invite your next MeetMoi intro to one of the following, and let love bloom:

Learn about the Flowers Every Saturday and Sunday from 1 to 2 p.m., the Brooklyn Botanic Garden gives a Seasonal Highlights Guided Tour. All you need to do is show up–no reservations or payment necessary. It’s too early for their official “Spring in Bloom” tour, but you’ll still see some beautiful plants and feel refreshed by the time outside. If you’re in search of color and willing to spend money on admission, go to the annual Orchid Show. Afterwards, walk over to Grumpy’s in Park Slope for a cup of coffee and inevitably delicious scone.

Walk the Highline Especially if you spent summer reading and people watching at the Highline, New York’s urban-cool park path will evoke memories of warm days. Start making this season just as special with your MeetMoi acquaintance and a Chelsea jaunt. Check out the latest billboard art and see if you can spot any bird nests. Again, if the March chill is too much, get down near Chelsea Market and get a latte at Blue Bottle on W 15th.

Sip on Fresh Cocktails The Mulberry Project’s Raspberry Rose cocktail sounds as luxurious as swimming in a pool full of Perrier. With lemon and homemade raspberry syrup, it’s got to be just as refreshing. Order two, and move into the Project’s intimate garden space to soak up some sun. You’d never guess such an enclave exists in the middle of Little Italy, but now that you know, you’re obliged to take advantage.

Find Foraged Food In his NYMag guide on “Where to Eat 2013,” Adam Platt declares, “Foraging is now an urban obsession.” Top chefs in New York are using local, seasonal plants to concoct extensive tasting menus and genre-defying plates. Platt goes on to mention several restaurants that are on the foraging frontier. Go to any one of them and you’ll likely be transported through taste to a field or forest, where you and your date can frolic in the green.

Get Wet See if last summer’s swim suit still fits and try it out at one of NYC’s indoor pools (check out Shopbop if you need a new cool option quick). Challenge your date to a breath-holding contest, see who can tread water the longest, or go for a good old-fashioned swim race. It’s always fun to get physical (out of bed) with a new date, and swimming is particularly refreshing after you’ve been bundled up all winter.

Wander the Greenmarket Meet at lunch or spend a Saturday morning in Union Square, checking out the goat cheese, fresh pasta, and berries on display at the Greenmarket. Ask your date about their connection with Mother Nature; did they ever garden as a kid? Do they know how to drive a tractor? The huge variety of produce at the Greenmarket could inspire all kinds of conversation. And who knows–you might get inspired to make a fresh dinner together later.

Viva sweet love.

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Ways to Beat the Single Blues

By Ella Riley-Adams

The beginning of spring means peak single blues time: couples are reveling in their togetherness, restaurants use V-Day prix-fixes as their primary luring tactic, and cold hands are desperate for a warm companion in these frigid conditions. When you find yourself wanting, avoid the urge to hibernate. Instead, turn to one of these active options:

1. Throw a Party. Though Hannah’s latest shindig on Girls lead to multiple emotional breakdowns, she had the right idea with her pasta and bundt cake. If you’re feeling lonely, bring people together on your own terms. Invite five or six of your friends over and have them bring their friends, plus wine. You provide the hors d’oeuvres, the music, and scintillating questions. If you’re partying on your territory, you’ll feel comfortable and loved. Plus, you get to sleep in your own bed at the end of the night, whether it’s alone or with an unexpected friend-of-a-friend.

2. Dance Of course you’ve seen Robyn dominate her warehouse dancefloor in Call Your Girlfriend. Channel her power and strengthen your inner diva by making up your own choreography, either in front of your mirror or at a club. Check out our list of music videos celebrating the single life, and reclaim your evening. The world is your dance space.

3. Do Something New No, not someone new (though that can help too). Here, we’re thinking of escaping the comfort zone. A new experience will confirm your interest in life when you’re depressed, whether you’re lovelorn or generally in “meh” mode. Check out Groupon for deals on interesting adventures in your city, learn how to make a pretty latte, or finally begin your DJ career.

4. Go for a Run Ever seen a Nike commercial where the girl is running like a badass and you simultaneously want to have her as your best friend but also to be her? It looks like she’s flying, she feels great about herself, and her shoes are some bright attractive color–triple threat. Go for a run and you ARE that girl. No one will know if you’re only out for 15 minutes. That’s enough time to get an endorphin rush and relish the wind in your face.

5. Go Out This is a risky bet if you’re in a bachelor/ette funk. Sometimes going out at night can reinforce negative messages you’re sending yourself. But, if you consciously decide to control your night, you’re going to be able to savor the freedom you have as a single person. Hit on the bartender, flirt with a cute man from out of town, make eyes at your ex. Nothing is off limits.

6. Take Care of Yourself Turn on whatever music you can sing along to, be it Britney or Beyoncé. Then, carefully apply your questionably lumpy brown face mask, paint your nails gold, or shave your legs with utmost precision. Do whatever makes you feel calm and refreshed. Lurk on Lush‘s website for inspiration.

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