5 Snappy Comebacks for Why You’re Still Single

by Jackie Potts

If you’re like us, you’re having so much fun meeting folks on MeetMoi that all those glassy-eyed twosomes hogging the coffee shops have receded into your subconscious. You know, the ones mooning over SodaStreams at Sur La Table, clogging brunch spots with their strollers, and telling you that you’ll meet the right person “any day now”….as if your life depended on it.

I’m talking about couples, of course. Poor dears, haven’t they heard? Married couples are actually becoming an endangered species, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

The number of marrieds has dropped from 72% in 1960 to just 48% in 2010. And a CBS News poll found that 7 in 10 Americans said they think the institution of marriage is weaker now than 20 years ago. So when you’re being told that being single isn’t the “end of the world” (which you already knew), you could cite those handy statistics.

Or, the next time you’re ambushed over Bloody Marys and Belgian waffles at brunch with “Sooo, why are you still single?”, try one of these snappy comebacks:

5. I’m next in line for Bradley Cooper (or, if you’re a dude, Kim Kardashian).

4. Budget cuts. I had to let some people go.

3. I’ll tell you in the next life, when we are both cats. (Best when uttered in a Castilian Spanish accent like Penelope Cruz in “Vanilla Sky.”)

2. Because when the zombie apocalypse comes, a partner will just slow me down.

1. Or borrow a page from Dorothy Parker, writer and celebrated wit: “If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.”

Got a response that you like? Share it here.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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1 Comment

Filed under Single Life

One response to “5 Snappy Comebacks for Why You’re Still Single

  1. Missy

    Priceless!! I especially like the budget cut reason which I intend to use

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