Tag Archives: relationships

Here’s How Guitar Players Meet More Women

by Jackie Potts

Your suspicion that women dig guys with guitars is correct. Behold the scientific proof …

Dudes carrying guitar cases collected more women’s phone numbers and set up more dates than regular Joes, according to a real-life, street-corner dating study of twentysomethings.

And it gets better: The guy never even has to play the guitar.

Here’s how the experiment went down: Researchers told a 20-year-old guy to approach 300 women, ages 18 to 22, in a busy French shopping district. In all cases, the guy used the same “script.” He introduced himself, complimented the woman, asked for her phone number and invited her to meet for a drink later.

The only difference in each encounter was his accessory. He was either empty-handed, carrying a sports bag, or holding a guitar case.

Nearly one third of the women, 31 percent, handed their phone numbers over when he was holding the guitar case. A not-too-shabby 14 percent turned their digits over when he was empty-handed.

And when he was holding the sports bag? A measly 9 percent forked out their numbers to the sidewalk player when he was holding his sweaty gym clothes.

Take it from country Casanovas Brad Paisley and Keith Urban.

Just get you a guitar and learn how to play, Cut up some jeans, come up with a name. When you’re living in a world that you don’t understand, Find a few good buddies, start a band.”

Not comfortable going on tour? Put your musical aspirations in your Meetmoi.com dating profile.

(And you can still work out too.) Happy hunting!

Jackie Potts is a blogger at Marketsmiths.com.

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The Friend Zone: Fact or Fiction? Part 2

by Sabrina Cohen

Last month I wrote about platonic friendship between men and women. I grew up around guys whose philosophy was, “A guy only wants to be friends with a girl to get in her pants.” Even with that notion floating around in my consciousness, I managed to maintain lots of platonic friendships with guys throughout my 20’s.

But as time went on, the dynamics changed. In some cases, the friend got into a serious relationship and I inadvertently became the other woman, even though nothing sexual ever took place. Suddenly the idea of another woman sharing up-close-and-personal time perhaps seemed inappropriate. Thankfully it usually resulted in a natural drifting as opposed to anything dramatic or specifically addressed, at least to my knowledge.

I’ve also seen plenty of women cut off relationships with guy friends because her significant other was jealous or threatened. Was it because they believe that any other man is really interested in more than friendship?

In other cases there was no significant other, just unforeseen (ok, undisclosed) feelings that appeared to motivate one person to engage in the friendship. In my case, even though my intentions were clear, I was guilty of denying his ulterior motives.

With all that said, I do maintain friendships with these men. They’ve morphed significantly over the years, but considering they’re still there, anything is possible.

In your experience, can men and women really just be friends? How about when one is in a relationship?

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

 

 

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The Spin: How to Silence Your Cynical Self

by Sabrina Cohen

In the wake of undesirable dating experiences, we often punish ourselves with cynical thoughts, emotions, and conversations—including with ourselves. While we can’t control outside factors, we can control our reactions, and bounce back stronger than ever.

Language dictates attitudes, and attitude dictates behavior. Discouragement and cynicism breed bitterness, and no one finds that attractive. With awareness, we can choose a reaction that’s healthy as opposed to one that will perpetuate more of the same. Review the following examples and notice the power perception plays in how we interpret situations. The next time it all goes to hell, silence your cynical self by practicing the spin.

 

1) Your recent dates have been a barrage of dysfunction.

The cynic: Are there any normal women/men out there?!!

The spin: I’m so ready to meet someone grounded like me.

 

2) All of your friends are coupled up and you’re noticeably single.

The cynic: I must be the only one alone for a reason.

The spin: The right person is worth waiting for.

 

3) Your last breakup had you reeling in heartbreak.

The cynic: I’d rather be alone than risk being hurt.

The spin:  I’m open to finding someone, but I’ll focus on myself till then.

 

4) Your last significant other resented how much time you spent on work.

The cynic: I have to choose between a career and a love life.

The spin: I can have it all! The right person will appreciate my ambition.

 

How do you bounce back from bad dating experiences? Share with us below!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

 

 

 

 

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The Friend Zone: Fact or Fiction? Part I

by Sabrina Cohen

My friend recently dated a guy she met at a business networking function. He was handsome, successful, well packaged, and well mannered. They kept in touch and he suggested they meet under the guise of a potential work collaboration. She got the sense he was interested, but wasn’t sure how she felt. She went in open-minded, hoping something would spark.

They enjoyed great conversation, genuine laughs, and had more in common than expected. But there were also significant differences. He was a bit older, newly divorced with grown children, and ultimately looking for his next leading lady. She was more circumspect: happy to live the single life.

Despite a strong interpersonal connection, she just wasn’t feeling it. She broke the news, expressing a genuine desire to keep in touch. To her surprise, he agreed. Maybe it was his maturity. Maybe he saw an opportunity to win her over in time. Maybe he just didn’t want to burn a bridge.

Does the urban myth of platonic friendship actually exist? What do you think?

To be continued…

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

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The Measures Of Monogamy

by Sabrina Cohen

Monogamy. Some believe it’s when both partners say, “I love you.” Others believe it’s triggered after a certain number of dates, or certain period of time. Some think it’s when you’ve had sex, while others believe it’s not until you’re “officially” down the aisle. There are some who will never get on the monogamy bandwagon.

With so many varying notions on when and how the line of monogamy is crossed, it’s no wonder that expectations get thwarted—and hearts dismayed or broken. There is, however, a simple solution to this otherwise complicated problem. Communication.

Let’s see how this works in action:

So, we’ve been dating for X weeks, and I really like how it’s going. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else, and I need to know if we’re on the same page. –Jane, dater

I don’t want to rush things, but I’m not into sleeping with someone who’s sleeping with other people. –Jason, dater

If you’re upfront and clear about your expectations, you can learn whether it’s really meant to be. Communication also creates the space to compromise…maybe your partner isn’t ready for monogamy, but communicates something that allows you to (willingly) adjust your expectations.

As long as things are out in the open, you can earn trust, liberate your own preferences, and ensure a smoother overall ride.

What’s your measure of monogamy? Tells us what works for you!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

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Do You Have a 30-Day Rule?

by Jackie Potts

1 date, 3 dates, 30 days, marriage? Do you have a standard amount of time you wait before hugging without jammies? Or do you believe arbitrary rules like these ruin the flow of a new thang?

We talked to a handsome, single guy in his 20s who says he used to hook up casually whenever he felt that special attraction. But not anymore.

Now he says he purposely waits a minimum of 30 days before engaging in the no-pants dance. Gianni, 26, says it’s a do-no-harm dating policy he’s developed to spare himself, but also women, unnecessary pain and drama.

“Men mistake physical attraction for mental compatibility,” he explains.

Go onnnnn, we said, not at all creepily.

“You see, I’ll talk on the phone with a girl for hours if I’m attracted to her,” he continues. That’s because before intimacy, he says he’d meet someone and find everything about her magical and compatible. She was an actuarian? No way! He’d always wanted to do that too! A wheelchair thief? Sweet! A petty crime rapsheet is so bra, bra.

But too many times, he says, once intimacy happened — Poof! The attraction disappeared, and suddenly stealing wheelchairs seemed kind of lame. And then although his attraction was gone – hers, perhaps sparked by the release of the “cuddle hormone” oxtyocin, had doubled or tripled.

As a result, his partner now expected a relationship, while he was ready to hit the bricks. He’d stop calling; she’d get upset.

“They always thought there was something wrong with them,” he says. “But there’s nothing wrong with you, it’s me.”

By giving them both time to wait out the hormones, the 30-Day Rule took care of these painful misunderstandings. So tell us, is there an intimacy rule that works for you?

Jackie Potts is a blogger for Marketsmiths.com.

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Are We All Just Playing Hard to Get?

by Jackie Potts

Do you play hard to get when you meet someone you really like? Or do you go all in with excited texts and phone calls?

Two new psychology studies are making the case for both (a) playing hard to get and (b) just saying no to sex on the first few dates if you want to find True Wuv. And not just for women, but for guys too.

The less available a person is, the more a crush is willing to invest time and money in them, according to the European Journal of Personality. Women surveyed said they played hard to get by acting self-confident, talking to other people, and withholding sex.

Aha, you might be thinking. But I don’t want a relationship. I just wanna hit it and quit it! Or I just want to casually date and see where things go.

In that case, if you’re a guy looking for a fling, be impossible to get, advises study author Peter Jonason, Ph.D. Ostensibly, because women really do like men who seem like a challenge.

Of course, you also run the risk of sleeping alone, and being wildly unpopular with the ladies – especially if you wear eyeliner and a feather boa like that creepy Mystery guy from “The Pickup Artist.”

However, if you are looking for a relationship, neither of you should give up the goodies too easily, clucks Study 2, or you’ll fall into the dreaded Pit of Despair.

Of 11,000 couples together for at least one year, those who got it on within the first few weeks of dating admitted they had less relationship satisfaction, communication, and stability compared with twosomes who waited or abstained (that means no hoopdi-hoo) entirely, according to the Journal of Sex Research. (C’mon, this is a real publication? We couldn’t believe it either!)

“We all want honesty in dating, but it’s never going to happen,” Jonason dourly told NBC.com.  “We’re not overtly lying, but we’re always trying to marry up.”

Sounds like Jonason is nursing a bit of a broken heart. After all, we know at least three happily married couples who all consummated on the first date. So tell us, do you believe in showing your feelings upfront, or playing hard to get? And why?

Jackie Potts is a blogger at Marketsmiths.com.

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