The Measures Of Monogamy

by Sabrina Cohen

Monogamy. Some believe it’s when both partners say, “I love you.” Others believe it’s triggered after a certain number of dates, or certain period of time. Some think it’s when you’ve had sex, while others believe it’s not until you’re “officially” down the aisle. There are some who will never get on the monogamy bandwagon.

With so many varying notions on when and how the line of monogamy is crossed, it’s no wonder that expectations get thwarted—and hearts dismayed or broken. There is, however, a simple solution to this otherwise complicated problem. Communication.

Let’s see how this works in action:

So, we’ve been dating for X weeks, and I really like how it’s going. I’m not interested in seeing anyone else, and I need to know if we’re on the same page. –Jane, dater

I don’t want to rush things, but I’m not into sleeping with someone who’s sleeping with other people. –Jason, dater

If you’re upfront and clear about your expectations, you can learn whether it’s really meant to be. Communication also creates the space to compromise…maybe your partner isn’t ready for monogamy, but communicates something that allows you to (willingly) adjust your expectations.

As long as things are out in the open, you can earn trust, liberate your own preferences, and ensure a smoother overall ride.

What’s your measure of monogamy? Tells us what works for you!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for


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