What to Do When You Don’t Want to Go on Date #2

By Natasha Burton

Let’s say you go on a first date with an Intro and you’re thinking you could potentially see the person again. Then, a couple days later, you realize … well, not so much. Here’s what to do when an Intro wants to go out with you again and you’re just not that interested.

Assess why you don’t want to go on a second date

After the first meet-up excitement fades, your interest in seeing an Intro again might fade, too. But before you put the kibosh on date number two, really think about why you’re ready to do so. If you’re worried that you didn’t have enough chemistry with the person during date number one, that might not be a great reason to totally write off getting to know him or her better first. If there’s another person you’re interested in pursing a relationship with, then that might be a good reason not to want to lead someone on. And, certainly, if the date was just downright terrible, by all means, don’t subject yourself for more torture. Just, you know, think about it before giving an Intro the ax. There’s no going back once you do.

Craft a short, kind response

When your Intro messages you asking to see you again, and you’ve decided that you’re just not game for meeting up a second time, don’t leave him or her hanging because you’re not sure how to let the person down gently. Respond swiftly and respond simply with something like, “It was really nice to meet you but I’m not interested in meeting up again.” Okay, yes, this sounds kind of harsh, right? But you have to avoid tacking on phrases like “right now” that suggest you may want to meet up again someday if you really don’t intend to ever see the person again. Little hints of hope might make you feel better as the rejector but they’ll only make your intro feel worse when those blow softeners just prove to be false.

Move on

Your Intro might message back looking for answers: What he or she did “wrong” or an explanation as to why you don’t want to give him or her another chance. In most cases, it’s best not to respond. What can you really say to make this person feel better? Nothing. In the end, you don’t want to see him or her again. So, rather than trying to feebly explain — which could end up backfiring on you if the person tries to guilt you into another date —  it’s better to stay silent. As hard as that might be.


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Filed under Date Etiquette, Dating Tips

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