How to Nail that First Message to an Intro

By Natasha Burton

Your first interaction with an Intro is the very first thing he or she will judge you by — for better or for worse. So, making a good impression with that initial message is obviously key. Here are some tips that will pretty much guarantee a “yes” to your meet-up invitation.

Be concrete

Your message should focus on a solid reason why you think you and the potential date should meet up, not hinge on a vague observation like, “Hey, you’re cute.” Outline why you think you and the person you’re messaging will get along well. Maybe you share a love for surfing or geeky movies, maybe you sense something about his or her personality that speaks to yours. Don’t be afraid to be specific — it shows you’ve put some thought into your message, which will make the person receiving it feel special.

Be thoughtful

Show you read your Intro’s profile by making a thoughtful suggestion of something you could do together. You could build upon your shared interests, if you mention them in the message, or come up with ideas based on what the person is passionate about: If she’s a foodie, ask if she wants to go to a preview at a new restaurant; if he’s an artist, ask about checking out an art walk together.

Be confident

At the end of the message, don’t make comments like “If you’re not interested, don’t worry about messaging me back” or “Sorry for wasting your time.” Statements like these will cause your potential Intro to automatically question whether or not you’re worth the time it takes to meet up — if you don’t have confidence in yourself, why would a stranger have any? If you’re taking the time to message this person, you should be doing so because you think the two of you would hit it off and you’re excited to see if you’re right. Express that, not your doubts, and be clear about your intentions.

Be articulate

Show that you put time into the message by using correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. Try to stick to actual words — don’t include LOLs OMFGs or SRSLYs if you want to be taken seriously — and don’t be afraid to ask a pal to take a look at your message if you’re not sure about how it reads.

Be brief

No one wants to open a message — whether while on a dating site or sifting through work email — and find paragraph upon paragraph awaiting them. Get your point across in three to four sentences. Yes, it might take you longer to be concise, but it’s better to take the extra time to edit yourself down than burden your potential intro with a super long message to sift through.


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