First Date Rules You Can Break

By Natasha Burton

It’s a whole different dating world out there today, so there’s no reason why you should feel compelled to follow the antiquated “rules” for first dates from your parents’ generation. Here are some long-established guidelines that you should consider giving the heave-ho.

Rule to Break #1: Be sure you make a good first impression.

Sure, you want to put your best foot forward on a first date. But sometimes that can manifest as putting forth a polished, perfect and—let’s be honest here—downright sterile version of yourself rather than showing your date the real you. Don’t get so hung up on how you might come off. Be yourself and you’re more likely to attract the right person for you.

Rule to Break #2: Keep him or her guessing.

Some advice books advocate making yourself appear a little mysterious in order to keep your date’s interest. That means not expressing how into the person you really are because it’s “too soon” or putting on a stand-offish front to keep yourself from possibly getting hurt. Come on, you’re braver than that. If you’re digging your date, let him or her know. A person who shirks away from your honest feelings really isn’t worth getting to know better anyway. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

Rule to Break #3: No talking about the past. 

Okay, so you don’t want to go into detail about that awesome night you had with your ex-hook-up buddy in college, but there’s nothing wrong with exposing a bit of your baggage on a first date (if you’ve been hurt in the past, you are well within your right to explain upfront that you’re so not into shady behavior from the get-go). As long as the conversation doesn’t turn into an one-upping competition of who’s ex was worse, talking about your pasts can help lead you and your date toward a brighter romantic future together, if that’s what you’re looking for.

Rule to Break #4: Don’t go home with him or her. 

Look, we’re all adults here. And hopefully we’re mature enough not to buy into the outdated notions that all girls who go home on a first date are easy, and all men who do so are players. While it’s probably not the best idea to go to bed with every person you meet for coffee or drinks, if you’re both really into each other and feel like testing out the chemistry between the sheets, don’t let old-fashioned rules stop you. Any one who judges you for getting busy too soon—especially if that person is the one you got busy with—doesn’t deserve to get busy with you ever again.

Rule to Break #5: The guy should always make the follow-up call. 

Ladies, pick up your phones. Yes, the guy is “supposed” to call. And, yes, we all know that he’s “supposed” to wait those magical three days. But, be the strong, independent woman you are and take matters into your own hands, if that’s what you want to do. Any guy who is worth your time will appreciate the fact that you’re interested in him—and that you’re not interested in playing games.

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Filed under Date Etiquette

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