Here’s How Guitar Players Meet More Women

by Jackie Potts

Your suspicion that women dig guys with guitars is correct. Behold the scientific proof …

Dudes carrying guitar cases collected more women’s phone numbers and set up more dates than regular Joes, according to a real-life, street-corner dating study of twentysomethings.

And it gets better: The guy never even has to play the guitar.

Here’s how the experiment went down: Researchers told a 20-year-old guy to approach 300 women, ages 18 to 22, in a busy French shopping district. In all cases, the guy used the same “script.” He introduced himself, complimented the woman, asked for her phone number and invited her to meet for a drink later.

The only difference in each encounter was his accessory. He was either empty-handed, carrying a sports bag, or holding a guitar case.

Nearly one third of the women, 31 percent, handed their phone numbers over when he was holding the guitar case. A not-too-shabby 14 percent turned their digits over when he was empty-handed.

And when he was holding the sports bag? A measly 9 percent forked out their numbers to the sidewalk player when he was holding his sweaty gym clothes.

Take it from country Casanovas Brad Paisley and Keith Urban.

Just get you a guitar and learn how to play, Cut up some jeans, come up with a name. When you’re living in a world that you don’t understand, Find a few good buddies, start a band.”

Not comfortable going on tour? Put your musical aspirations in your Meetmoi.com dating profile.

(And you can still work out too.) Happy hunting!

Jackie Potts is a blogger at Marketsmiths.com.

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The Friend Zone: Fact or Fiction? Part 2

by Sabrina Cohen

Last month I wrote about platonic friendship between men and women. I grew up around guys whose philosophy was, “A guy only wants to be friends with a girl to get in her pants.” Even with that notion floating around in my consciousness, I managed to maintain lots of platonic friendships with guys throughout my 20’s.

But as time went on, the dynamics changed. In some cases, the friend got into a serious relationship and I inadvertently became the other woman, even though nothing sexual ever took place. Suddenly the idea of another woman sharing up-close-and-personal time perhaps seemed inappropriate. Thankfully it usually resulted in a natural drifting as opposed to anything dramatic or specifically addressed, at least to my knowledge.

I’ve also seen plenty of women cut off relationships with guy friends because her significant other was jealous or threatened. Was it because they believe that any other man is really interested in more than friendship?

In other cases there was no significant other, just unforeseen (ok, undisclosed) feelings that appeared to motivate one person to engage in the friendship. In my case, even though my intentions were clear, I was guilty of denying his ulterior motives.

With all that said, I do maintain friendships with these men. They’ve morphed significantly over the years, but considering they’re still there, anything is possible.

In your experience, can men and women really just be friends? How about when one is in a relationship?

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

 

 

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Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? Try This

by Jackie Potts

The breakup happened, and enough time has passed that you’re ready to hit the dating circuit again. So … why do you keep hovering over your ex’s Facebook page? What inspired you to send this text at 10 p.m. Saturday night: “No one gets our jokes. I miss U. Call me!!! L L L L”?

Take heart. You’re not alone: An astonishing 88 percent of men and women creep on an ex online after a breakup, according to a study by the University of Western Ontario. And being de-friended doesn’t stop us Wile. E Cyberstalkers. Seventy percent use a friend’s Facebook account to “peep” on our peeps. Another 50 percent text or call in spite of discouragement. (Yep, guilty here too.)

Thinking about your ex is normal. But talking and acting on that wastes time, exhausts friendships, and stops you from meeting cool new singles on MeetMoi.com. Stop circling the “If only we were back together … ” drain now, and reboot your brain.

Inspired by Eastern-based philosopy, this system works for smoking, procrastinating, the munchies, and the breakup blues.

Grab a pen and paper and make two lists. Title the first, “Things I Won’t Miss About [YOUR EX’S NAME],” and include his or her most non-supportive or annoying habits. Then list 10 things, like “being stood up,” “feeling nagged,” or “that yappy dog.”

The second list contains future positives from being newly single. Call this one, “Things I’m Looking Forward to Without Jenny or Josh.” List 10 more things, like “freedom to watch the game” or “girls’ night!”

Then, read both lists once a day, preferably before bed — and stop stalking your ex.

In a few days or weeks, your subconscious will be magically reprogrammed. Try it, and let us know your results.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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The Art of Open Relationships

by Sabrina Cohen

What do you call it when a committed couple agrees to see others outside their immediate bond? An open relationship, of course.

Seen from one viewpoint, open relationships require immaturity—and a serious yen for adventure. Seen from another, they’re a natural extension of our real world attraction to others, and require—ironically—an even deeper maturity, connection, forthrightness, and understanding.

On the pro side, new partners can provide a needed sexual boost. They can administer fresh attention, companionship, and even challenge. They broaden the horizon—be it emotionally, sexually, and even intellectually.

But there are just as many reasons to avoid an arrangement that some might see as a land mine. To name a few: jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, and romantic attachment.

If you’re considering an open relationship, think about these parameters:

  • Make sure both of you are on board. Persuasion or manipulation will likely backfire.
  • Establish solid ground rules.
  • Be honest with your new partners. Let them in on your arrangement.
  • If you’re new, venture forth slow and steadily. Experiment and enjoy, but keep a close eye on everyone’s comfort zone.
  • Maintain your respect and communication for each other, and not least your honesty toward yourself.

In short, open relationships can be an exciting way to spice up your relationship and build self-awareness. But they’re not for everyone, so proceed with caution.

Have you ever considered or engaged in an open relationship? Share your story below!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

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The Golden Rule of Dating

by Sabrina Cohen

OLD SCHOOL RULES

Back in the day (the olden days, not 1995), dating was relatively simple; people met, married, bore children, and died—for many, all this before age 30. Up until the mid-twentieth century there were clearly defined (albeit unspoken) rules, and just about everyone followed them. But as our freedoms increased, so did our options. Dating these days is a free love free-for-all, based on nothing more personal preference.

Without having “rules” or standard practices to go by, dating can be a minefield of mixed messages. Every person speaks his or her own dating language, leaving everyone else lost in translation. This could explain why dating is so damn confusing these days, and why after a while, everyone out there seems crazy.

NEW RULES = NO RULES

With no set rules to play by, we have no choice but to follow our instincts. Setting aside contrived signals, logic, and reasoning, we instead focus on the natural chemistry that exists (or doesn’t). We learn to be guided by our experience as opposed to our thoughts about what “should” be. We also learn to just be instead of being stuck in evaluation mode all the time.

It may seem to have been easier back then, but there’s something refreshingly simplistic about relying on our hearts and not our heads for a change. And perhaps the unpredictability of it all may actually make it easier for daters today to spot the right thing when it comes along.

So, how you navigate the uncertainty? Follow today’s golden rule of dating: Lead with your heart, follow your gut.

Do you fancy yourself a modernist or do you prefer the dating traditions of generations past?

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

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First Date Advice: How to Click in 4 Minutes

By Jackie Potts

Good news for singles: You only need four minutes to hit it off with someone new, and we’ve got some first date advice to help tip the scales in your favor.

Think dating chemistry is all about money and appearance? It really has nothing to do with your car or designer labels, according to a new Stanford University dating study. It’s all about showing compassion, enthusiasm and using the following conversation skills.

By analyzing nearly 1,000 dates, geeky guys Dan McFarland and Dan Jurafsky found that how words were delivered, when and for how long determined the strongest connections. And four minutes is all it takes to spark “a meaningful relationship,” they said.

During these mini-dates, women were definitely the deciders in whether or not the conversations would continue, but both genders can do several things to ensure a second date.

  • Show approval. Use phrases like “That’s awesome” or “Good for you.”
  • Be empathetic. If a date shares a hardship tale, respond with, “That must be tough on you,” or something supportive. Women like guys who seem to understand their problems.
  • Share a short personal or funny story. Spilled BBQ sauce on your shirt? Rode an elevator once with Lil Wayne? Talk about it. But avoid complaining or “Can you believe my ex?” anecdotes.
  • Watch out for the “I” monster. If every other word out of your mouth is “I,” you’re losing your date.
  • Show vocal enthusiasm. Laughing and making your voice louder or softer to mirror the other person’s help create an emotional connection.
  • Don’t grill the other person. What’d you do today? Where do you work out? Hey, where are you going? People lose interest when asked question after question.

Interestingly, both guys and girls reported stronger connections when the conversation focused on her. Take it from Beyonce: Who run the world? Girls.

Jackie Potts is a blogger at MarketSmiths.com. 

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Spring Fever Series: On The Waterfront

by Sabrina Cohen

As the weather warms, millions will be coming out of hibernation with rampant enthusiasm, skimpier clothes, and bodies they’ve been working all winter to flaunt! Though it’s not quite beach season yet, we encourage you to get out and into the spirit with these NYC waterfront date spots.

  1.  The Boat Basin Café is one of my favorites! This casual, unpretentious restaurant on New York’s Upper West Side is the perfect spot to unwind after work or over the weekend. Outdoor tables overlook the Hudson River, so you and your date can enjoy a meal while marveling at the sailboats nestled dockside at the Marina. We recommend arriving just in time for sunset. Just walk towards the water on 79th street—this gem’s hidden underneath the highway!
  2. Just 10 blocks south is the Pier i Cafe. Open-air seating offers unobstructed views of the river and all the eye candy passing by. Chillax with freshly squeezed blueberry lemonade, sangria, draft beer, or perhaps something from the coffee bar for you early risers. The menu boasts fresh ingredients and something for everyone, any time of day.
  3. Even further down NY’s west side, is The Frying Pan, a salvaged lightship serving beers, burgers, and a slice of seafaring history. One of only 13 remaining lightships, the Frying Pan now sits at Chelsea’s Pier 66 and often plays host to live music, parties, and even the occasional “sea sick” passenger. Arrive early for a good seat on the deck, enjoy the sunset, and perhaps find someone aboard to take back on dry land.

Are you a fan of waterfront dating? Share your favorite spots with us below!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

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